Why Interviews are like Dating
October 3, 2007 at 11:06 AM
by Ashleigh
I had my second interview today for the job that I want.
It was exciting, but nerve-wracking. At least it was all in English.
Nothing like stumbling around nervously in a different language to the one you're accustomed to.
I'm not sure if I was so nervous purely because it's been such a long time since I worked.
A seven year gap in the CV seems like such a long long time.
While I was talking with the HR Manager it occurred to me, rather suddenly, that interviewing for a job is really a lot like dating.
You don't need to send a photo when you apply for a job but you have to send a CV saying who you are and what you do, and how great you are. Then there's the motivation.
The 'Why do you want to work here?' motivation.
Or in dating terms, 'Why do you want me?' motivation.
The 'there are thousands of other people out there, why me?'
And to which the simple answer usually is,
'Because you're available right now and I'm available right now.'
It has very little to do with the the best fit for the job, more to do with serendipity.
Sound a bit like Internet dating, anyone?
Then you get the first interview, which is kind of like the 'let's have coffee and get to know each other a bit' date.
So you have the interview and you think 'ok, this could work, this sounds nice.'
But do you want to live with them every day for the next 3 - 5 years?
Maybe it's just a fling and you're going to be the person who tries out in the position and after a month says 'no way, Jose!' and leaves?
Are they going to interview you, then leave you with that morning-after feeling when they don't call you for a week.
Then they call you after a week and you have a second interview. And you talk money and working hours and logistics and you think it's all great.
But a week later you get a little form letter in the mail saying,
'We regret that you were not successful in your application for xxx position.'
Which is a bit like the email after the second date that says,
'Sorry, it's not you. It's me'.
Which everyone knows isn't true.
But no-one's going to come out and say,
'Sorry dude, I didn't like you at all and please fuck off and never call me again.'
What if you speed up your interview process too much and you end up divulging too much at the first interview?
What if the one party is needier than the other?
They need you, you need them, but who needs who more?
Desperation tends to be a turnoff.
Both in dating and in job-seeking.
How far can you go with making plans?
Like when you get introduced to everyone in the prospective workplace and you have to say,
'Well, it will be nice to see you again if I get the job.'
Should you be saying,
'When I get the job?'
I suppose interviewing could be easier because the rejection if it doesn't work out is not quite as personal as it is in a dating situation.
I suppose I should trust my Viva horoscope which for last week said,
'Neem de initiatief.'
This week says
'zie het leven als het is: een serie momentopnamen'.
So which snapshot is mine this week?
The one where I get the rejection-slip or the one where I get the green card?
Comments
I hope it turns out to be a long-standing relationship based on mutual respect! Good luck.
Green card! :D
Your musings are quite true. I never thought of it that way but yep, interviews (whatever they're for) are a lot like dating!
LOL, I always used the comparison the other way around (dating is much like applying for a job).
I'll keep my fingers crossed.
The job will help, but like me, I think you need a creative outlet for your abundant energy. The problem is that we have no role models to show us more interesting possibilities. I love being a parent and consider it among the best experiences I have in life had but like many I have surplus energy.
If it is an interesting life where we are in control is what we want, then we must be willing to do a lot to get it, bcause we are asking for extraordinary things from life.
We all know what we want in life, even if our answer is a weak, "happiness". So the question is, what are you willing to do for happiness in your life.
I heard you wanted to write, so write and start the fiction group like you talked about with that guy in Amsterdam.
You have all my best wishes in your struggle to regain your balance.
Gotta go, 'King of Queens' is on.
Wat een leuk verhaal! Je slaat de spijker op z'n kop :-))
No words of wisdom here - just - Job Interviews Suck. Job Hunting Sucks.
good luck!
I had never looked at it that way either, but you are right!
I'd never actually looked at it this way, but it is a lot like dating.
When will you hear??
October 3, 2007 1:30 PM