Ashleigh-Thank you so much for posting that information. I've tried so hard not to overwhelm my kids with so many activities afterschool and people think I'm a horrible mother. I truly believe school is stress enough and if they have things to do after school it should be because they want to. It's only been the last two years or so that my middle son and younger son have started playing basketball and let me tell ya, one activity is enough. It seems when basketball season is going on all we do is run, run, run. I'm always excited to see it wind down.

I enjoyed reading that from the school. It's tough when there's so much available for children to not do everything but it is so true for kids to have down-time and be kids! There are plenty of things to do as a grownup. Ha! Ben is in baseball and track and that's his limit. His does choir at church but everything is evenly spaced that it's a good amount of extra stuff without getting bogged down. I see kids who do everything and it's just a nightmare. Thanks, Ashleigh, for posting those tidbits of information.

Well despite my American passport I've been living like this for years.

My kids are 8 and 10. My son participates in Boy Scouts. My daughter takes piano lessons and is a Girl Scout. She's going to try an organized sport this spring. They will occasionally participate in after school activites that meet once a week for a month or so and then are over.

That's it! No play dates, TV, or computer time on school nights. They can play for an hour after school before having to start homework. Bedtime is between 8 and 8:30. Playdates are usually scheduled for Friday afternoons.We try to keep Saturdays open Only family activities on Sundays.

It's great to see this recommendations black on white! I'm a 'orthopedagoog' myself and it's so true children need time to do 'nothing'. Even when they're bored that's not necessarily a bad thing!
Great recommendations. And also great you're helping out on school every Friday.

Thanks for all the comments everyone.

I was pretty relieved to get this circular from school because I always feel like we don't do enough with Sebastian and Joe and that I'm somehow failing as a parent because I'm not ferrying them to and fro all the time.

I've put in a link that I had missed to Luc Koning's website for those who read Dutch.

http://www.pravoo.com/

Anneke, maybe you will find that interesting?

I used to volunteer one day a week (also for computers) in Max's class till we had Rowen, and last year I was "Class Mom" - like you, I have nothing but admiration for these teachers who teach, support, and guide our kids during the school hours. What a monumental undertaking!

We've got a split-family situation, so Max is away every other weekend, and we really notice a huge difference in how tired he is after a weekend away. We don't stress activities too much, and it's nice to read a supportive article. Usually I feel a little guilty that we don't "do" more.

Those recommendations...well, I don't much like the word MUST. And a little alarm always goes off in my head when I see it. There are no MUSTS, because you can't squeeze a child through someone's cookie cutter. All children are different and you can't deal with them all in the same way.
It is better to teach a child how to relax and manage stress rather than for you to seek relaxation for your child. I literally taught my kids how to do deep breathing exercises, meditation, imagery and various stress management techniques. Then when I saw they were stressed, I'd suggest a technique for them to practice. Later when they were older, I'd ask them which technique they thought would help them best when they were stressed....that way they made the decision, plus they began to recognize (without my help) when they were stressed. This way, you are giving your children real skills they will be able to use all their lives.
This person is right about parents needing to take some time for relaxation for themselves. What is far more important as a parent is what you do....not what you say. If you don't practice relaxation and fun and play....how can you expect your child to do so? If you are stressed out and unhappy, how can you expect your children to be different?
I do think children need time to decide on activities for themselves. I think what matters is how your son feels about the activities he is engaged in. Its not too busy if he loves his football and judo. No child should be made to do activities they don't want to do. But those who don't want to do anything ought to be encouraged to do something because it is healthy as an adult to have hobbies and those interests that develop into hobbies often begin in childhood. I've raised twin sons who are now 24 years old. When they were children they were involved in very few activities....organized activities. Their first activity was boy scouts. In upper elementary school they became involved in music and that was their choice. They loved it so much and I guess because it was their choice they didn't even mind the practicing. I never had to tell them to practice. When they entered middle school around age 12 they started to get involved in clubs. By the time they entered High School they became very involved in organizations and activities. This was good because it did keep them busy and they never got into any trouble at all of any kind. They learned valuable leadership skills and they learned how to function in a group. Most school learning, least in the USA is individual and students don't often get an opportunity to learn how to function in groups which is so important to one's adult work-life. My sons chose all their activities and they still talk fondly about things they did and were involved.
At 24 years of age, they are hardly ever absent from work. They continue to have interests and activities they do outside of work. I don't think they ever see work as stressful, they see it as challenging and they look forward to meeting those challenges. They are both some of the happiest people I know. And for that, I am the most pleased. For me the goal of parenting was to raise happy and productive adults.
Sebastien is a child, its important for him to discover what interests him and the best way to do that is through exploration and play. Its also important for children to learn to make decisions. If we as parents make all those decisions then we aren't preparing them for their roles as adults. To me the key to all this is whether Sebastien is happy with the activities he is doing....and I mean really happy...not just doing something he thinks makes his parents happy, but rather things that are making him happy. Sometimes children want to do activities simply because their friends are doing them, not because it interests them. One of my sons who has never been very sports-minded decided to get onto the wrestling team. I told him at the time I didn't think this was really an activity that interested him but rather his friends. Nevertheless I fully supported him in that decision and he joined the wrestling team. It was a disaster for him, but on the other hand it was WONDERFUL, cause he learned so much from that experience. Its never my role as a parent to save him from these little disasters but rather to help guide him through and be supportive.
I never cared much what the schools, TV, books or magazines had to say about raising children. I always looked to my children to know what to do....if you listen to them....and I do mean really listen....they do let you know what they need. So please ladies, do NOT be feeling guilty. Every child is different between families and within families. One child may want to do lots of things and another one may want to do less and explore more what does interest him or her in this world. Be more confident and less guilty. You will make mistakes and learn from them and more importantly, your child will learn how to parent from the way you do it...like...just what you do when you do make a mistake, etc. Actually, I don't see any of it as mistakes, just opportunities for learning. Parenting is one of the greatest adventures of your life. Enjoy it!